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Seeking Eating Disorder Treatment while in Divorce Proceedings
There is never a “convenient” time to engage in eating disorder treatment. Life involves many roles and responsibilities, none of which are easily cast aside to enter into an inpatient or residential facility or receive intensive care. The irony is that it is often the stress from these daily roles and stressors that triggers disordered eating. For example, ending a marriage and going through divorce proceedings is a stressful transition that studies find can precipitate or worsen the eating disorder.
If you are currently experiencing the troubling collision of these challenges, there are options for you to receive the care that you need without putting a halt to your divorce proceedings.
Don’t Put It Off
It is a natural sentiment to feel that there is “too much going on” and want to take one thing at a time. It may feel more effective to focus first on ending the emotionally, and financially, draining task of finalizing your divorce.
As understandable as this is, focusing all of your energy on your divorce without receiving the necessary support for your eating disorder will cause more harm than good.
While some feel free through divorce proceedings, many also report complicated feelings of grief, shame, guilt, low self-worth, isolation, stress, and fear. Not only that, the pressure of dating again, when one is comfortable, can place new and frightening emphasis on one’s self-worth and appearance.
All of these stressors can precipitate, or worsen, an eating disorder. In fact, a 2017 study showed an increase in eating disorder symptoms and behaviors in middle-aged women in the UK, and study leaders reported that “traumatic events” such as divorce could be a contributing factor [1] [2]. The fact is, not getting the help you need for your eating disorder while in divorce proceedings may make things worse.
Finding Appropriate Support for your Eating Disorder Through Your Divorce
An important part of receiving eating disorder treatment during your divorce proceedings is to first determine what level of treatment you need.
How you proceed will depend on what level of care treatment professionals refer to you. The next steps will look different if you are in an inpatient hospital stay versus engaging in intensive outpatient or outpatient treatment, for example.
First, determine what it is you need. Once you have determined this, regardless of how this may impact the timeline of your divorce proceedings, it is important you engage in the recommended level of care.
Communicating with Your Legal Team
Your legal team can be helpful at this point. For example, if you are being referred to an inpatient stay, you will likely be unable to communicate often with lawyers or an ex-partner, specifically because this can be triggering in an environment where you are trying to focus on making yourself well.
Speaking with your legal team about how long you may likely be unable to communicate, and what, if anything, can be done in your absence, will help you to get a better picture of whether or not your timeline for divorce needs to change.
Filling your legal team in is also important if your divorce is not amicable, tensions are high, or you are fighting for custody, as they can help you communicate this to a judge and facilitate any court deadline changes that need to be requested.
The truth is, until you coordinate with your treatment team and lawyers, you don’t know what is possible in the realm of communicating with lawyers, your children, or your ex-partner in treatment. Engage your team and assert what you need from them.
In ending a relationship that was no longer serving you, you have an opportunity to begin putting yourself first, and receiving the treatment you need when you need it is a chance to do just that.
Resources
[1] Micali, N. et al. (2017). Lifetime and 12-month prevalence of eating disorders amongst women in mid-life: a population-based study of diagnoses and risk factors. BMC Medicine, 15:12. [2] Dodds, E. (2017). Eating disorders in middle-aged women linked to divorce. Closer. Retrieved from https://closeronline.co.uk/diet-body/health-fitness/eating-disorders-middle-aged-women-linked-divorce/.About the Author:
Margot Rittenhouse, MS, PLPC, NCC is a therapist who is passionate about providing mental health support to all in need and has worked with clients with substance abuse issues, eating disorders, domestic violence victims, and offenders, and severely mentally ill youth.
As a freelance writer for Eating Disorder Hope and Addiction Hope and a mentor with MentorConnect, Margot is a passionate eating disorder advocate, committed to de-stigmatizing these illnesses while showing support for those struggling through mentoring, writing, and volunteering. Margot has a Master’s of Science in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Johns Hopkins University.
The opinions and views of our guest contributors are shared to provide a broad perspective on eating disorders. These are not necessarily the views of Eating Disorder Hope, but an effort to offer a discussion of various issues by different concerned individuals.
We at Eating Disorder Hope understand that eating disorders result from a combination of environmental and genetic factors. If you or a loved one are suffering from an eating disorder, please know that there is hope for you, and seek immediate professional help.
Published September 30, 2020, on EatingDisorderHope.com
Reviewed & Approved on September 30, 2020, by Jacquelyn Ekern MS, LPC
