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How Do I Know if I am Recovered Enough to Serve as a Mentor to Others Struggling with an Eating Disorder?
Individuals who have struggled with eating disorders in the past often feel called to help others in the community, whether as an eating disorder professional, volunteer or advocate in some other capacity. These individuals often end up being a mentor to others struggling in recovery.
How do you know you are recovered enough to guide others on their journey? This is a complex question with many components to consider. In the end, it is most important to determine whether the person you are mentoring is truly benefitting from the relationship, and whether it is helping or harming your own recovery.
Length of Time in Recovery
First consider how long you have been in recovery. The term “recovery” is subjective, and means different things to different people. It might mean the absence of behaviors, the time since you left treatment, or another important marker in your journey. Whatever it means to you, it is generally best to be in recovery for at least one year before serving as a mentor to others struggling.
The amount of time someone needs to heal before they can take on the role of mentor in the eating disorder community varies greatly. Being in recovery for one year does not necessarily guarantee that you are in the right place, whether mentally or physically, to serve as a mentor.
If you try to be a mentor to someone struggling with an eating disorder before you feel solid in your own recovery, it can end up being harmful to you and the individual with whom you are working.
Avoiding Triggers and Countertransference
One of the reasons it is recommended to wait a bit before acting as a mentor is that the experience might be triggering for you, even if you feel you are past that point in your own recovery. Triggers can pop up years down the road, as well, but they are most likely during these early stages.
Additionally, serving as a mentor comes with a certain sense of responsibility to be fully recovered, even if it is you who are putting this pressure on yourself. If you are triggered or struggling for whatever reason, you might be less likely to reach out for help if you are in the role of mentor.
Countertransference is another potential factor when someone is going through their own recovery while serving as a mentor for others. Generally, this applies when therapists have an emotional reaction toward a client, often taking their own feelings and insecurities out on the individual.
Though countertransference is unintentional and subconscious, it is highly dangerous and puts the client at risk. This is one of the reasons therapists are required to go through hours of their own therapy prior to certification. However, other types of mentors do not necessarily go through strict certification processes or trainings.
If you are serving as a mentor while in recovery and find yourself struggling with countertransference or your own relapse, it is important to stop the relationship in a mentor capacity immediately. You can still stay connected to the individual, but you must take care of yourself in order to benefit you both.
Helping Others Benefits Recovery
A 2009 study [1] found that helping others was linked to maintaining sobriety in individuals who struggled with alcoholism. Specifically, helping others in 12-step programs who were battling similar demons they once had was the most helpful to their own recovery.
Though there are no hard statistics on these factors within the eating disorder community, the same result is believed to be true. People benefit from helping others, especially when they can provide unique insight, such as those in eating disorder recovery helping other individuals currently struggling.
If you feel called to be a mentor to someone in recovery, that is an honorable thing and speaks to the progress you have made in your own recovery. However, it is important to prioritize your mental health while reducing risk to the individual if you become triggered.
In the end, you might not be able to know whether you are truly ready until you try it out on a trial basis. At that point, you can determine whether you are ready to proceed as a mentor and strengthen your recovery in the process.
About the Author: Courtney Howard graduated summa cum laude with a B.A. from San Diego State University, holds a paralegal certificate in Family Law, and is a Certified Domestic Violence Advocate. After obtaining her certification as a life coach, Courtney launched Lionheart Eating Disorder Recovery Coaching in 2015 and continues to be a passionate advocate for awareness and recovery.
References:
[1]: Pagano, M. E., Zeltner, B. B., Jaber, J., Post, S. G., Zywiak, W. H., & Stout, R. L. (2009). Helping Others and Long-term Sobriety: Who Should I Help to Stay Sober? Alcoholism Treatment Quarterly, 27(1), 38–50. http://doi.org/10.1080/07347320802586726The opinions and views of our guest contributors are shared to provide a broad perspective of eating disorders. These are not necessarily the views of Eating Disorder Hope, but an effort to offer discussion of various issues by different concerned individuals.
We at Eating Disorder Hope understand that eating disorders result from a combination of environmental and genetic factors. If you or a loved one are suffering from an eating disorder, please know that there is hope for you, and seek immediate professional help.
Last Updated & Reviewed By: Jacquelyn Ekern, MS, LPC on September 13, 2016
Published on EatingDisorderHope.com
