How to be an Active Listener When Someone Shares a Traumatic Event

Contributor: Crystal Karges, MS, RDN, IBCLC for Eating Disorder Hope

Communication is a key cornerstone to any healthy relationship. Whether with a friend, a family member, a co-worker or acquaintance, learning productive communication skills can help develop your relationships and a healthy respect for one another.

One important aspect of communication is listening to others. It is often easier to convey our point of view or to interject our opinions as other people are talking, but the art of listening intently is truly a valuable part of the communication process.

Building Trust and Respect

Listening well to others is a necessary part of building trust and respect and is absolutely crucial during times of vulnerability. When someone you love or care for chooses to open up to you and express his or her feelings and emotions, it is of the utmost importance to honor this by actively listening.

Perhaps someone you care for has chosen to share a traumatic event with you. While it can be difficult to listen to the pain that has been afflicted on someone you love, listening intently can open up doors of healing and recovery.

Consider implementing these suggestions in your conversations to improve your listening skills, especially in a scenario where a loved one is sharing a painful pastime or traumatic event:

Give Undivided Attention:

It is easy to become distracted with busy schedules and multiple things going on at once. Give your loved one the attention they need and deserve. Turn off any devices and talk in an area that is quite and without disturbances. This will help encourage your loved one to communicate and give you the opportunity to listen without distraction.

Offer Encouragement and Feedback as Appropriate:

You can show someone you are listening through your gestures, such as head nodding, eye contact, and speaking prompts or fillers. This can help demonstrate your interest in what is being said and encourage your loved one to continue communicating.

Offer Validation

It can be easy to judge and become emotional based on what someone is communicating. Keep an open heart and mind and try to listen empathetically. Share positive statements, such as “I am glad you were able to communicate this with me.”

Practicing active listening skills can help your loved one feel safe in communicating with you, especially when the issue is something that is painful or hard to talk about.

Community Discussion – Share your thoughts here!

What are your tips for practicing active listening skills with the people you love and care for?

Last Updated & Reviewed By: Jacquelyn Ekern, MS, LPC on April 18th, 2015
Published on EatingDisorderHope.com