How Stressful Life Events Can Predict Eating Disorder Relapse

Contributor: Kirsten Haglund, Community Relations Representative for Timberline Knolls and Founder and President of the Kirsten Haglund Foundation

The journey to healing from an eating disorder is different for every person. The path can be winding and can take months, years, or decades. Relapse is common and can be discouraging, to say the least. However, since relapse is so common, those struggling and their families can approach it with the tools they need in order to overcome relapse, and use the challenge to grow stronger and freer in healing.

Is Relapse a Part of Recovery?

As an advocate and someone with my own recovery story, I get asked this question a lot! The simple answer is, it does not have to be, but for many, it is. What relapse is not is this: failure or a lack of willpower. It does not make you a disappointment.

What relapse can be is a chance to plug back in to your treatment team and deal with new challenges, different emotional issues not initially addressed in treatment, and discover new things about yourself. Relapse can make long-term recovery stronger, so long as it is not used as a tool to shame yourself or your loved one, but instead is seen as an opportunity to grow, learn, and persevere. We are imperfect beings, and imperfect in recovery. Embrace grace.

Preparing for Changes

The good news is that you can try to help stave off a severe relapse by preparing for changes as they come up in your life. For example: starting school, getting married, starting a new job, starting or ending a relationship, taking on new responsibilities, having children, or becoming an empty-nester.

These are changes that you usually can see approaching, and while the changes might be exciting, they also have the potential to shake up your emotional and spiritual peace. They introduce new pressures, stresses and insecurities.

Understanding that these could be triggers, you can prepare by talking to a mentor, counselor, or accountability partner. Prepare and practice your healthy coping mechanisms. Think ahead to what temptations might arise, and play act how you will deal with them. Predicting change and preparing for it is a strong and effective way to prevent severe relapse.

Expecting the Unexpected

Then there are the changes and challenges you can’t predict. They are the blows that inevitably come up in life that leave your mind and emotions reeling. These times can be when the temptation to relapse is strongest – going back to what feels familiar, even if in your heart you know it is not what will truly heal the pain you’re experiencing. In these moments, if you do relapse, its time to corral your support team.

You’re not weak if you reach back out to your therapist, your counselor, your dietician – you are strong. Cry out for help and support, share and open up, do not isolate. If you expect the unexpected, you can prepare your lifelines for when dark moments arise, because they will. But you can use those times to lean on those that love you, so that you can emerge from the battle stronger on the other side.

Living in Freedom

Finally: Can I ever be fully recovered or is this something I have to live with the rest of my life?

Many experts in the field have varying answers to this question. Perhaps it is better for the typical ED-effected mind – which is often addicted to black-and-white thinking – that there is no consensus on this issue. I believe, because I am living it, that you can be; you can be free from eating disorder behavior and thoughts.

However, will you, and do I, still have bad days? Yes. Will you experience anxiety, loneliness, fear, dissatisfaction or inadequacy? Of course. These uncomfortable emotions are a part of the human experience. They do not have to be triggers to relapse, yet for some they may be.

The important and beautiful part of life is that we know these difficulties will arise, and if we have been through any kind of treatment, we have the tools to face these battles when they come. Embrace grace, knowing that your imperfections are known and accepted by a loving God, and that relapse or not, full freedom in recovery is possible.

Community Discussion – Share your thoughts here!

What have your learned from your struggle with relapse and how has this brought your strength in your recovery?

About the author: Kirsten Haglund continues to work as an advocate for greater awareness of eating disorders and resources for care. Since she won the crown of Miss America 2008, she has spoken on numerous college campuses, worked with youth and church groups domestically and abroad, lobbied Congress with the Eating Disorders Coalition, and started her own non-profit, the Kirsten Haglund Foundation, to raise funds and assist families financially in seeking treatment for eating disorders. She is also the Community Relations Specialist for Timberline Knolls Residential Treatment Center.

The opinions and views of our guest contributors are shared to provide a broad perspective of eating disorders. These are not necessarily the views of Eating Disorder Hope, but an effort to offer discussion of various issues by different concerned individuals.

We at Eating Disorder Hope understand that eating disorders result from a combination of environmental and genetic factors. If you or a loved one are suffering from an eating disorder, please know that there is hope for you, and seek immediate professional help.

Last Updated & Reviewed By: Jacquelyn Ekern, MS, LPC on June 8, 2016
Published on EatingDisorderHope.com