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Helping your Adolescent Child go Back to School After ED Recovery
Contributor: Leigh Bell, BA, writer for Eating Disorder Hope
Your teenage child is returning to school after recovery from an eating disorder. (Applause. Applause.) You’ve made it this far, and you don’t want to go back. You’re probably scared of both the obvious and the unknown triggers that exist during a school day among teenagers.
So how do you prepare? It is extremely important to put your child’s wishes first. [1]
Talk to your child about this transition some times before it arrives. Be aware of your child’s fears and how you can empower him or her to face them.
Empower your child with answers
This school year, we had one of our children repeat kindergarten, and I knew on back-to-school night her friends were going to ask why she wasn’t moving to first grade along with them. So, I sat down with my daughter, and together we decided on how she would answer the question: Why are doing kindergarten again? Now, she had the answer before anyone asked it, and this made her confidently go to back-to-school night the first day of school.
Brainstorm the questions schoolmates may ask your child. Create responses based upon your child’s desire and what he or she wants to disclose to peers. Does he or she wish to educate peers about eating disorders or would rather keep the issue private?
Either response is okay. This is about your child successfully transitioning back to school and maintaining recovery. He or she doesn’t have to be an eating-disorder advocate. Now practice and role-play the responses you’ve created together.
You as the classmate: “Why were you outta school for so long?”
Your child: “I was sick, but I’m much better now.”
You as the classmate: “What’d you have? What was wrong with you?”
Your child: “My digestive system was acting up, but I got medicine and am better.” Or. “I have an eating disorder. Do you know about them?”
Now your child is empowered give thoughtful answers to inevitable questions.
Telling the teacher
You don’t necessarily need to tell school staff or you child’s teacher, but if your child wants to and feels he or she could receive support from an adult at school, then talk to them. Also, your child may need certain exceptions for his or her recovery. Perhaps gym class isn’t the best option for recovery right now. Or maybe he or she needs a mid-morning snack. Even if this is the case, you only have to reveal to the school what you and your child wishes to.
Some triggers won’t involve anyone but your child. What will these triggers be for your child? Eating in the school cafeteria? Pressure of academic or sports performance? Maybe it’s friends and feeling left out after being away from school. Discuss these potential hurdles with your child and, again, plan and prepare for them.
Let your child know any exceptions he or she has now at school are not permanent. He or she will gain more stability and confidence with recovery, and as this happens, life will slowly discover a new normal.
Most importantly, be confident about your child’s recovery. When you are, he or she will be more confident returning to school
Community Discussion – Share your thoughts here!
How have you supported your child’s eating disorder recovery while they are in school? Did you choose to talk with the school for additional support, why or why not?
References
[1]: Glasofer, D. (2015, August 24). Returning to School after Eating Disorder Treatment. Retrieved November 24, 2015, from http://thefeedblog.com/2015/08/24/returning-to-school-after-eating-disorder-treatment/
About the Author: Leigh Bell holds a Bachelor of Arts in English with minors in Creative Writing and French from Loyola Marymount University in Los Angeles. She is a published author, journalist with 15 years of experience, and a recipient of the Rosalynn Carter Fellowship for Mental Health Journalism. Leigh is recovered from a near-fatal, decade-long battle with anorexia and the mother of three young, rambunctious children.
The opinions and views of our guest contributors are shared to provide a broad perspective of eating disorders. These are not necessarily the views of Eating Disorder Hope, but an effort to offer discussion of various issues by different concerned individuals.
We at Eating Disorder Hope understand that eating disorders result from a combination of environmental and genetic factors. If you or a loved one are suffering from an eating disorder, please know that there is hope for you, and seek immediate professional help.
Last Updated & Reviewed By: Jacquelyn Ekern, MS, LPC on December 16, 2015
Published on EatingDisorderHope.com
