Grief, Depression & Comfort Eating: A Common Combination

Comfort eating—also sometimes known as grief eating or emotional eating—is a common reaction to upsetting experiences. Many people find comfort in food and turn to it when feeling stressed, sad, overwhelmed, or dealing with other strong emotions.

Some situations are more closely tied to comfort eating than others. Grief and eating and depression and eating are particularly closely tied, and there are several cultural, emotional, and biological reasons why.

Still, some people develop an unhealthy relationship with emotional eating, with the behavior becoming uncontrollable and turning into binge eating sessions or possibly related eating disorders such as binge eating disorder (BED) or bulimia nervosa (BN). When this happens, it’s important to seek appropriate care to help stop the behavior.

What is Comfort Eating?

Comfort eating, emotional eating, and grief eating are all terms for the habit of eating during times of stress. There are many reasons why people may turn to food at these times.

In many ways, the reaction is biological. When experiencing stress, the body releases the hormone cortisol, which has been connected to cravings for foods high in sugar, salt, and fat.¹ These foods are also common triggers for binge eating patterns and other eating disorder behaviors.²

Fatty, sugary, and salty foods also activate the brain’s dopamine system, which sends feel-good chemicals throughout the brain and body.² Over time, people may come to associate certain foods with feeling better, creating an unhealthy pattern of emotional eating or even developing a full-blown eating disorder.

Eating—and digesting—food also triggers the parasympathetic nervous system. Among its other responsibilities, the nerve network helps the body relax, especially after periods of stress. Again, over time, this may lead to people associating eating with comfort.³

Understanding Grief and Its Impact on Eating Behavior

Grief is one of the most powerful emotions, coming as a result of profound loss. This can be the loss of a loved one, pet, job, relationship, house, sense of autonomy, or physical object, among other important things. 

Grief is so powerful that it’s been found to change the actual cells of people who are grieving, along with impacting several biological and psychological processes, including sleep cycles, stress responses, and possibly appetite.⁴

The grief cycle is also often complex, made up of five stages, including denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These stages can happen in any order and be repeated any number of times, with the entire grieving process lasting anywhere from months to years.⁵ All the while, a grief eater may continue to use food as a coping mechanism, possibly developing disordered eating habits associated with comfort eating.

Exploring Depression and Its Connection to Comfort Eating

Many things can bring on depression, including the grieving process and other traumatic or upsetting events. 

Depression is frequently connected to appetite, and while it can decrease hunger levels, it has also been directly linked to comfort eating. Those with an increased appetite in response to stress have been identified as a subgroup of people who struggle with depression.⁶

One study looked further into the connection, finding other common physiological responses to depression, including decreased sleep. The tendency to eat as a coping mechanism for stress was also associated with lower activity levels, which can also be an effect of depression.⁶

Commonalities Between Grief and Depression

It’s not just grief eating and depression eating that share common traits. Grief and depression themselves have many overlapping features.

Both emotional states profoundly affect physical and psychological function, with long-lasting effects. Grief and depression both generally impact sleep and energy levels, have a strong connection to appetite, and can lead to increased cortisol levels, which can all be related to emotional eating.^7,8 

Both emotional states are also complex and can be challenging to recover from. Complicated grief is the term for someone who still feels intense amounts of grief in the months following the triggering event.⁹ Clinical depression is used to describe those for whom symptoms such as low mood and a loss of interest in activities they once enjoyed have persisted for at least two weeks.¹⁰ Grief and depression often occur together or can work to maintain one another for longer periods of time.¹¹

Still, both grief and depression can be helped through various therapies and treatments. The process may be long and complex, but both emotional states—and the comfort eating sometimes used as a coping mechanism to deal with them—can become more manageable with time and effort.

Grief, Depression & Comfort Eating: Coping Strategies and Interventions

Grief eating frequently manifests as a maladaptive coping mechanism or a way of dealing with overwhelming thoughts or emotions that is unhealthy. These coping mechanisms can become deeply ingrained in someone’s daily routine and habits. Still, it’s possible to break these unhelpful patterns and cultivate other outlets for grief and depression that are healthier and more balanced.

Therapeutic Approaches for Addressing Grief and Depression

Numerous types of therapy have been adapted to help people cope with grief and depression.

Sometimes, people attend specific grief counseling sessions. Rather than focusing on the past, these sessions are more targeted toward the present, addressing the triggering event and helping someone better manage the grieving cycle in real time.

Those experiencing more severe reactions to grief can also partake in complicated grief therapy, which includes learning new coping skills, reducing feelings of blame or guilt, and learning more about the effects of grief, among other strategies.⁹

Numerous therapies have been adapted to help with depression, including major depressive disorder and depression associated with grief. Some therapeutic methods which may help include:¹²

• Interpersonal psychotherapy (IPT)
• Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT)
• Psychodynamic therapy
• Supportive therapy

In some situations, when deemed appropriate by a doctor, medication may also be prescribed to help with grief, depression, or related symptoms. However, medication is generally considered a secondary treatment and should be taken only under a doctor’s strict recommendation.

Developing Healthier Coping Mechanisms

A major aspect of many therapeutic approaches for depression and grief is changing maladaptive coping mechanisms that developed to help the person deal with these powerful emotions.

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is one of the most widely researched therapies for depression. It helps change unhelpful thoughts and behaviors and helps patients learn how their thoughts, behaviors, and emotions are interconnected. Through a series of sessions, patients are taught to recognize maladaptive thinking and behavior patterns and adopt ones that help them more effectively manage their emotions. In the meantime, they’re taught new, healthier coping mechanisms.¹²

CBT can be particularly effective for those who struggle with emotional eating or who have developed eating disorders as a result of grief or depression.¹³

Binge eating disorder, bulimia nervosa, and other eating disorders brought on by grief may have real physical impacts. Still, at their core, they’re mental health conditions, and with appropriate care, recovery from these issues is possible.