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Finding and Building a New Identify Outside a Chronic Eating Disorder
Contributor: Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LGSW, writer for Eating Disorder Hope
When someone is struggling intensely with an eating disorder-it often becomes his or her primary source of identity. As they begin to recover from their eating disorder, it is important that they work to discover new components of their identity. Mansi Totlani, an eating disorder specialist at Timberline Knolls, exemplified this point when she stated,
“The longer an individual has an eating disorder, the more she is defined by it. All decisions, reactions, activities, perceptions and values are viewed through the eating disorder’s lens. The more it takes over, the less of “her” remains intact. Once in recovery, the eating disorder identity begins to fade, allowing her true identity to reemerge.” [1]
Saying Good-Bye to Eating Disorder Identity
For individuals who have struggled with an eating disorder for a long period of time-finding an identity outside of their eating disorder may be even more difficult. It is normal for them to mourn the loss of this identity-as they begin to recover from their eating disorder.
However, it can be incredibly helpful for them to work to uncover new aspects of their identity. One exercise that they may find to be useful as to work to let go of the “eating disorder identity” could be writing a goodbye letter to their eating disorder.
Two Stages in Finding New Identity
I believe that finding new identity after struggling with an eating disorder often occurs in two stages. Initially, individuals may cling solely to their newfound identity as an individual in recovery from an eating disorder. This identity can serve as important purpose-as it enables them to devote the time and energy that they utilized to fuel their disorder-into their recovery journey.
The second stage that often occurs in the later stage of their recovery is when they begin to find new hobbies and interests outside of food, exercise, and recovery altogether. However, it is important to note that no two individual’s recovery journey is the same.
If you are in recovery from a chronic eating disorder-I would challenge you to try to remember what you were like before the eating disorder began For instance, what were your passions and interests prior to the start of your eating disorder?
If your eating disorder began in childhood it might be difficult to remember what life was like before the eating disorder. However, it is so important to begin to establish an identity outside of your eating disorder, so that you can work to develop more positive outlets and other characteristics that define you as a person.
Going Beyond Your Comfort Zone
One of the critical aspects of recovery from an eating disorder, is pushing yourself out of your comfort zone in regards to food and exercise habits. You can apply this same concept in regards to discovering an identity outside of your eating disorder. I would urge you to try to become curious about other hobbies and interests outside of food and exercise.
For instance, have you always thought that it might be fun to try a painting class, but never got up the courage to do so? Now is the time to explore other activities and hobbies that can serve as positive emotional outlets and may eventually become integral aspects of your identity.
It is ok if you do not enjoy everything that you try, but the purpose is to get outside of your comfort zone and potentially discover some new things about yourself.
The following are some ideas for ways to begin building a new identity when you are recovering from an eating disorder:
- Join a meet-up group where you can meet up with other people who have shared interests, by searching through http://www.meetup.com
- Explore local activities (art classes, bowling league, yoga, continuing education classes, dance class, horse-back riding).
- Start an online blog where you can begin to express your thoughts on topics that you are passionate about.
- Find a local volunteer organization and inquire about getting involved.
- If you identify with a particular religion, consider attending a religious service.
- Write a list of the characteristics and roles (ie daughter, parent, student) that make up who you are as a person (outside of your eating disorder).
- Make an effort to reconnect with important people in your life.
Your eating disorder voice may try to convince you that the eating disorder makes you “special” and “unique.” This is utterly false. Ultimately, an eating disorder hijacks a person’s sense of identity and replaces it with an illness. The more that you can work to uncover new aspects of your identity outside of your eating disorder-the easier it will become to find freedom and fully reclaim your life. Recovery is possible-it is never too late.
Community Discussion – Share your thoughts here!
What steps have you or your loved taken to find your identity outside of your eating disorder?
About the author: Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LGSW is a therapist, body-image activist, and writer who specializes in working with adolescents, body image concerns, survivors of trauma, and mood disorders. Jennifer is a blogger for The Huffington Post and Psychology Today, as well as a contributing writer for Eating Disorder Hope. For body-positive, self-love, inspiration, “like” her on Facebook at Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LGSW.
References
[1]: Separating your True Identity from Your Eating Disorder Identity. (2013). Retrieved from https://www.eatingdisorderhope.com/recovery/self-help-tools-skills-tips/disordered-eating-identityThe opinions and views of our guest contributors are shared to provide a broad perspective of eating disorders. These are not necessarily the views of Eating Disorder Hope, but an effort to offer discussion of various issues by different concerned individuals.
We at Eating Disorder Hope understand that eating disorders result from a combination of environmental and genetic factors. If you or a loved one are suffering from an eating disorder, please know that there is hope for you, and seek immediate professional help.
Last Updated & Reviewed By: Jacquelyn Ekern, MS, LPC on January 31, 2016
Published on EatingDisorderHope.com
