Bulimia: How to Share My Struggle with My Spouse

Contributor: Crystal Karges, MS, RDN, IBCLC Special Projects Coordinator at Eating Disorder Hope

Eating disorders are often misunderstood and unfortunately associated with shame, secrecy, and guilt. Bulimia nervosa is a deadly eating disorder that involves cyclical episodes of binging, followed by compensatory measures, such as self-induced vomiting, laxative abuse, and/or compulsive exercise.

A multitude of factors can contribute to the development of bulimia, including genetics, environmental influences, and social interactions. Many individuals who struggle with bulimia often do so in isolation and silence. This can be due to fear of revealing the extent of their sickness, fear of rejection, or overwhelming guilt.

Overcoming the Need and Habit to Hide Your Struggle

If you are struggling in bulimia and are in a committed relationship, you may find it difficult to discuss your eating disorder with your spouse or partner. Whether you are afraid of hurting the person you love or worried about being judged or misunderstood, you have likely learned to hide this disease or minimize your struggle with the intent of keeping it hidden.

Perhaps your spouse has become suspicious about the large quantities of food missing, a stockpile of food or wrappers, the smell of vomit, or the reason why you excuse yourself to the restroom after every meal. Perhaps your spouse has been completely oblivious to your struggle, and you have been able to continue engaging in bulimic behaviors.

Getting Help from a Marriage Therapist or Eating Disorder Counselor

Whatever situation you may find yourself in, it is important to break the silence, especially with your loved ones. Suffering in silence will only perpetuate the eating disorder, isolate you from your loved ones, and prevent you from getting the help and support you need to recover. While it can be difficult to share the details of your struggle with your spouse or partner, enlisting their support can become an invaluable part of your recovery journey.

If you are not sure where to begin or how to communicate with your spouse about your battle with bulimia, consider enlisting the help of a marriage/family therapist or a counselor who specializes in eating disorder recovery. Processing your fears with a professional before speaking with your spouse can help give you clarity about how you want to approach this important conversation.

If appropriate, sharing your struggles with bulimia with your spouse can be freeing and allow you to begin a recovery journey from your eating disorder. Consider utilizing the many resources available for families on Eating Disorder Hope if you are searching for information to share with your loved one.

Community Discussion – Share your thoughts here!

What role has your spouse played in your recovery from bulimia?

Last Updated & Reviewed By: Jacquelyn Ekern, MS, LPC on June 11th, 2015
Published on EatingDisorderHope.com