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Parenting When you have BED
Contributor: Leigh Bell, BA, writer for Eating Disorder Hope
A mom or dad struggling with binge eating disorder (BED) often times tries to juggle parenting with the insatiable need to binge eat, which someone almost always does in isolation.
Time spent with family can become time planning the next binge. What you’ll eat. Where you’ll eat it. Will you wait until they go to bed? Go on a make-believe errand?
Eventually, it may turn to living a double life.
BED is like a Drug
BED transforms food into an addictive drug many can’t live without. Sufferers often hide this need in darkness, feeling shame. Sacrificing elements of family for food, can feel shameful, too. Some people have even admitted to buying binge food with family food budget.
BED isn’t someone’s fault. It is a mental illness characterized by recurrent, persistent episodes of binge eating – consuming unusually large amounts of food beyond fullness – without compensatory behaviors, like purging, according American Psychiatric Association.
Some people are hardwired to be more reactive to food cues, and the initial food limitations increase the temptation. Emerging evidence suggests that for some binge-eaters, their brains react to food the way a drug addict responds to heroine. And it’s hard to stop, despite the consequences.
BED is Very Common
Binge eating is by far the most common eating disorder, occurring in 1 in 35 adults, or about 3% — almost twice the combined rate for anorexia and bulimia. Most women develop BED in early adulthood and most men in middle-age.
In fact, clinicians report a growing number of middle-age adults seeking help for an eating disorder. About 1/3 of inpatient admissions to a specialized treatment center for eating disorders were over 30 years old, according to National Eating Disorder Association.
Most believe binge eating is a way, conscious or unconscious, to ward off negative feelings and relieve stress. And parenting is stressful – if you’ve done it, you know this. While we don’t fully understand why stress and negative feelings precede binge eating, some science points to the hormone cortisol.
Hormones
Cortisol is secreted by adrenal glands when we’re under prolonged stress; and this cortisol increases appetite and may also “ramp up” motivation in general, including the motivation to eat, according to a Harvard Health report.
This cortisol may also be the reason people typically binge on food high in fat, sugar or both.
Numerous studies, although many of them done on animals like rats, show emotional distress increases the intake of high-fat, high-sugar foods.
Somewhat mysteriously, foods filled with fat and sugar inhibits activity in parts of the brain that process stress and related emotions, according to the Harvard Health. “The foods really are ‘comfort’ foods in that they seem to counteract stress – and this may contribute to people’s stress-induced craving for those foods,” it says.
Big Consequences
Health consequences of BED are longterm and not as immediate as those of anorexia and bulimia, but they’re still serious. Two out of three people with BED are obese, and excess weight may increase risk for many health problems, such as type-2 diabetes, high blood pressure, sleep apnea, osteoarthritis, and certain types of cancer.
Most parents want to be around to see their children grow up. They want see their kids become adults, attend their child’s wedding, become grandparents. Children can be a wonderful motivation for recovery. And what better lesson to teach a child than to overcome?
Explain your problem to them using age-appropriate language. Tell them you’re going to get help because everyone needs help throughout their lives. Model strong vulnerability, so they can do the same when, inevitably, they will need help in their own lives.
Model positive body image, too. Even if you don’t feel it. Mothers are the greatest influence on how children feel about their own body. You can tell your child she is beautiful and powerful, but it doesn’t matter if you also insult yourself and/or your body.
It’s also important to know BED and obesity run in families. Watch for signs of binge eating or other eating disorders – and disordered eating, for that matter – in your children. Your illness may help prevent another family member from suffering like you have.
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About the Author:
Leigh Bell holds a Bachelor of Arts in English with minors in Creative Writing and French from Loyola Marymount University in Los Angeles. She is a published author, journalist with 15 years of experience, and a recipient of the Rosalynn Carter Fellowship for Mental Health Journalism. Leigh is recovered from a near-fatal, decade-long battle with anorexia and the mother of three young, rambunctious children.
The opinions and views of our guest contributors are shared to provide a broad perspective of eating disorders. These are not necessarily the views of Eating Disorder Hope, but an effort to offer a discussion of various issues by different concerned individuals. We at Eating Disorder Hope understand that eating disorders result from a combination of environmental and genetic factors. If you or a loved one are suffering from an eating disorder, please know that there is hope for you, and seek immediate professional help.
Last Updated & Reviewed By: Jacquelyn Ekern, MS, LPC on September 21, 2015. Published on EatingDisorderHope.com
