Eating Disorder Recovery – Seeing the Value Within

Contributor: Nikki DuBose, writer for Eating Disorder Hope

We are all precious and unique. Every body has a destiny to fulfill, and we cannot do that unless we learn to see our value on the inside first. When something is valuable it is considered very worthy, of great importance.

There is no person that is more worthy than you. Yes, you. From the day you were born, God considered you the most valuable person on the planet.

He molded you in His image. He didn’t make one person more special, one more beautiful, and another more interesting, no, He made every person of equal value.

The Innocence of Childhood

When I was a child around four years old, I thought I owned the whole universe. I ran around the yard with my cocker spaniel Ruby as if time and space held no limits. I was not self-conscious and ashamed, I was confident and carefree. In fact, I so was proud and self-assured that I wanted to make friends with everyone.

Soon, however, circumstances beyond my control caused me to become an isolated shell of the lighthearted little girl that I once was. In a few years I was struggling with binge eating, bulimia, and later, anorexia nervosa. For seventeen years I lost the beauty and value within, and replaced it with an image that I hated and wanted to control to the point of near death.

How Did This Change Happen?

So what happened? How did I go from loving to hating myself? I know that eating disorders are partly genetic, and partly environmental. But I think that there is so much more to them. The abuse that I received in my home was tremendous, and I carried that with me long after it stopped. I continued to hurt myself with my disordered behaviors, abusive relationships, and drug and alcohol addictions.

jewelry box with jewelry with pink rosesI think that this is what can happen to many of us. We start out with the world at our fingertips. As children, we have no knowledge that any part of us is “flawed.” However because other people hurt us, or because we have painful things happen to us that are out of our control, we end up making bad choices.

We believe what other people say, and the way we see ourselves is suddenly drastically different. In our eyes we are no longer wonderful creations, but, things to be broken and misused. We can become addicted to self-destruction.

Returning to a “Child-Like” State

Knowing that God loves us just as we are allows us to heal and return to a “child-like” state on the inside. Recovery also gives us time to repair the brokenness, it grants us opportunities to visualize ourselves the way we truly are, perfect and complete.

Although recovery requires faith and persistence, seeing the journey through ends in victory, while lingering on the road of destruction only ends in despair. It is a choice, but acknowledging that you are of limitless value is a major step on the path of freedom from destructive behaviors and negative self-image.

About the Author:

Nikki DuBose is a former model, host, and actress who has recently turned her career focus towards writing, public speaking, and mental health advocacy. She is a passionate dynamic voice in the mental health field and seeks to encourage others to develop a strong sense of their intrinsic value and self-worth.

Nikki grew up in charming Charleston, South Carolina and currently splits her time between Los Angeles, California and Seattle, Washington. After traveling the globe and working as a fashion model and commercial actress in exciting destinations such as the Middle East, Paris, Barcelona, and London, she was inspired to leave the industry to pursue writing full time.

Her writing is focused on encouraging others to overcome the deadly grip of eating disorders that affect millions. She draws firsthand experience from a long-standing battle with bulimia, anorexia, physical, emotional, and sexual abuse, drug and alcohol addictions, and a wide range of mental health issues.

Her first book is currently in the works and recounts her life struggles and ultimate triumph over the mental disorders that plagued her for most of her life. She has been published in multiple articles for The National Eating Disorders Association for her hope, strength, and community outreach initiatives.

She continues to write and advocate for NEDA, connect with people around the world through her website, and write, speak and assist with various other organizations covering various mental health issues, body image, and self-esteem.

Community Discussion – Share your thoughts here!

What has been your experience with learning to see the beauty within yourself?

The opinions and views of our guest contributors are shared to provide a broad perspective of eating disorders. These are not necessarily the views of Eating Disorder Hope, but an effort to offer discussion of various issues by different concerned individuals.

Last Updated & Reviewed By: Jacquelyn Ekern, MS, LPC on April 10th, 2015
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