Siblings and Eating Disorders
Families are like little independent nations, especially when difficulty strikes. Say a ten-year old falls out of a tree and breaks his leg. The troops rally: parents take care of the medical needs, sisters and brothers bring home schoolwork, perhaps even pitch in a do a couple of extra chores until the wounded family member is recovered.
But what happens when a family member gets "sick" and doesn’t get better? Families throughout the United States are confronted with this reality every single day when a child has an eating disorder. Although undoubtedly hard on the parents, often it is the siblings who become the unwitting and unnoticed victims, especially if they are young. This is because the parents understandably focus an inordinate amount of time, thought and energy on that one child. But imagine how this is viewed by the other children. "She" gets all the love, all the attention, while "we" get ignored and over-looked. This is a dangerous dynamic that can have immediate and far-reaching consequences. Enormous resentment can build toward the child with the eating disorder, especially if she is ill for a prolonged period. The siblings, in an effort to garner the attention they crave, may start rebelling or acting out in any number of harmful, unhealthy ways.
What makes this situation so very sad is that no one is wrong: the daughter is in the grip of a terrible disorder; the parents want to help their hurting child; the other children want love and attention. This is exactly why professional family counseling is so valuable when an eating disorder is present.
Remember...If an eating disorder is an uninvited guest in your home, everyone is at risk. Please get help.
Discover more about this important topic by checking out the following articles.
Articles
When You Look at Me
by Laurie Glass
I have a difficult time expressing myself sometimes. However, it's important for me to communicate my feelings and my gratitude. This message conveys what I want to say, though I sometimes can't find the words. When you look at me, I see the concern in your eyes and the worry wrinkles form on your forehead. It's as if I can even feel the ache in your heart sometimes... Read More
The Adverse Effect of Negative Comments About Weight and Shape From Family and Siblings...
Published by The Official Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics
Interesting, though rather technical, article about how messages from siblings and others can negatively impact the self esteem of individuals and possibly contribute to the development of eating disroders... Read More
Resources
Brothers & Sisters: How They Can Help You Recover: They may be irritating and impossible at times, but your brothers and sisters may actually help speed your recovery from an eating disorder(Bulimia.com)
Advice for Siblings: When a person develops an eating disorder, it can result in great frustration and distress for brothers and sisters as they deal with their own emotions in seeing somebody they love struggle(Eatingdisorders.org.au)
Siblings: What should parents do: Wonderful blog posting by a parent who has been there and has some suggestions for dealing with the siblings of eating disorder sufferers (Eatingdisordersblogs.com)
Coping Tips for Siblings and Adult Children of Persons with Mental Illness: If you find it difficult to come to terms with your sibling's or parent's mental illness, there are many others who share your difficulty(Healthyplace.com).