Secrets of the 2% Who Succeed
Executive Director The Center for Counseling & Health Resources, Inc. / A Place of Hope
@ Greggory Jantz, Ph.D.
Excerpts from the book "Losing Weight Permanently"
March 15, 2000
Carol clutched the portable phone so tightly that the tension shot all the way to her toes. Her two small children sat nearby on the edge of a backyard picnic table, the fear and frustration of their mother showing on their tiny faces.
"Dr. Jantz? Thank God you're there in the office. Please. I need to see you right away. I mean now. It could be a matter of life and death."
I rearranged some appointments and was able to see Carol within two hours.
Carol weighed about 250 pounds. She'd been on thirteen different diets in the past eighteen months. She'd become an expert calorie counter, knew her cholesterol to the exact number, owned every weight-loss book on the market, had memorized the fat content of each product in her cupboard, and had just purchased five items for "guaranteed" weight loss from late night infomercials where thin-as-paper celebrities promised "bodies like theirs" in less time than it takes to say the word skinny.
Nothing worked for Carol. Her doctor said her heart was feeling the effects of her weight, and that unless she did something now, her life would be in jeopardy. That's what finally got Carol's attention.
Still, with all the vehicles at hand, or so it seemed, for losing weight, there she was, growing bigger by the moment, feeling worse about herself day by day, and her physical and emotional life teetering on the edge of disaster. What was wrong? Why was nothing working for Carol?
- It's estimated that one in three Americans is overweight-an increase of thirty percent in the last ten years.
- Forty-four percent of high school girls and fifteen percent of high school boys report that they are trying to lose weight.
- Fifty percent of adult females and twenty-four percent of adult males are on a diet on any given occasion.
- It's now estimated that at least ten percent of Americans have disordered eating.
Carol was one of these above statistics who always gained back the weight she lost. Together, we calculated that through yo-yo diets, TV fads, exercise gimmicks, and improbable weight loss programs, she'd lost more than four hundred pounds since junior high school. Yet, she had begun each diet with such high hopes . . . I know this one will work for me . . . Just one more expensive piece of exercise equipment and I'll be fine .
Now if I just paste this thin body of a beautiful model on my fridge, and look at it every day, I know I'll make it.
Carol always wanted to do the right thing, but she continually trapped herself into taking yet another wild, breath-taking roller coaster ride of self-delusion and false promises.
While every patient is different in his or her specific needs, I'd already "seen" Carol many times before during my fifteen years of counseling men, women and children with eating disorders. Still, she was yet one more terrified individual in yet another frightened body, wondering if she'd ever be able to feel hopeful again. And now, rightly so, she was afraid for her life.
HERE'S THE GOSPEL TRUTH: There is no magic, no potion, no pill, and no single piece of exercise equipment that can guarantee you permanent weight loss. If people suggest the contrary, I encourage you to place both hands in your pockets, and walk backwards away from them as quickly as possible, because all they want is your money.
They could care less about your losing weight, to say nothing of permanent weight loss.
People who join the 2% who lose weight permanently no longer choose to be victimized by the "diet folks" one of the most unscrupulous, unregulated industries on record. For example, did you know that women who focus their attention on TV ads about dieting or diet products eat about twice as much as those who watch ads about other consumer products? This is not by accident.
If you are one of those victims, change the channel. Don't buy into what are often fraudulent claims. It can be the first step toward taking control of your life. Because an obsession with dieting has never produced positive results and it never will.
Diets hurt you mentally and physically. You lose the weight, and you gain it back.
You feel good about yourself for a moment, and then suddenly you feel terrible, guilty, and without hope. Diets are a cruel joke of bait and switch. If diets worked, everyone would be thin. Instead, they are a not so subtle form of Russian roulette, often with life-threatening consequences. Just ask Carol.
A MAJOR FALSE PREMISE in weight management thinking is that food is the culprit.
Food is not the problem, and therefore dieting will never be the cure. The antidote to dieting is to learn to live a whole, authentic, balanced, healthy life, where you work at becoming the complete person who you were designed to be. Before you can do this however, I suggest that a Personal "food" Inventory is in order.
Personal "Food" Inventory: How do you rate yourself?
Let's assume that nothing you've tried so far has been effective. Diets, powders, pills, and compulsive exercising has not worked. Every method of weight loss you've tried has been flawed. Each "guaranteed effective" program has promised you something it could not deliver. If this is your story, then it's time to ask yourself some serious questions. To help you work through some of your food challenges, I want you to score yourself on the following quiz. Grade each statement on a score of 1-5. If it's true for you almost all the time, give yourself a 5. If you seldom do it, score a 1. If you never do it, record a 0.
- I have to be on a diet all the time
- I feel guilty when I eat a dessert
- I wake up thinking about food
- I dream about my weight and/or food
- At parties, I hang around the snack table
- I am ashamed of my body
- I feel it's wasteful if I don't clean my plate
- I seldom sit down to eat
- At buffets, I feel I must try a bit of everything
- I skip breakfast
- I often eat the leftovers after a party at my home
- I am & of losing control with food
- I eat the cookies I bake while they are still warm
- I buy popcorn at the movies even if I've just eaten
- There are only a few safe foods I feel I can eat
- When I'm bored, I get out the snack food
- I can gain weight overnight
How did you rate yourself? Do you see a pattern? If you had a total score of 65 or more, I am especially glad you are reading this article, because there is great hope for you. If your score was around 50, you may be borderline. If your total score was under 25, Congratulations. I can only assume you are reading this article so you can refer it to a friend.
IF, HOWEVER, YOU STILL STRUGGLE in your pursuit of achieving permanent weight loss, it's important to say good-bye to the crutches that keep you from reaching your goal. Here are a few things you can do right now to join the 2% who have discovered the secrets of losing weight permanently. I realize they may sound too simple–especially since they cost no money, and only rely on your personal discipline–but I want you to do them anyway.
False Crutches You Can Do Without
- PUT YOUR SCALE IN A DARK CLOSET. It is a "judge" you do not need. Ask yourself Do I want to weigh a certain amount, or do I want to feel good about myself. A scale will not help you feel good about you. It will only shout at you, Abuse you, and remind you that you are not whole, that you still have work to do, and that you've failed once again.
- IF YOU HAVE UNOPENED, PACKAGED DIET FOOD that's been in your cupboard for months, wrap it up and put in a box with the items I'll mention in the next suggestion. You no longer need this food: it's a crutch.
- YOU MAY HAVE ITEMS OF CLOTHING you've been hanging on to since you fit into a size four or five; a pair of jeans your wore in high school, or a bathing suit that looked terrific on you when you were nineteen. You many have worn those clothes when you were starving yourself down to 101 pounds. Now's the time to stop holding on to the false belief that you'll get into them again. (You might, but for different reasons). Place all those items of clothing in a box with the packaged food and secure it with strapping tape strong enough to make it difficult to open.
NOW PLACE THE SEALED BOX IN YOUR ATTIC OR STOREROOM. In big black letters write on the box: FALSE CRUTCHES. Put today's date on the box. This is the first day of the rest of your journey toward permanent weight loss.
It's important for you to believe that we are not taking things away from you.
Instead, we are only creating distance between you and the things guaranteed to impede your progress.
Now it is time to work out your recovery.
Recovery Will Keep You Busy
By now you may be saying, Dr. Jantz, it's becoming clear that food is not now-nor has it ever been-my problem. It's something deeper, something I've not addressed, not admitted, not dealt with. Well, I'm now ready to make a move in the right direction. I want to learn the secrets of the 2% who are losing weight permanently. If that is where you are in your thinking, then you are ready for the following checklist as you take the leap from using food to self-medicate your pain to making food your friend. Since you are now serious about achieving permanent weight loss, I encourage you to begin to do the following one step at a time . . .
Learn to be free in expressing what you believe about yourself. Take a good look at the rigid set of rules you have chosen to live by up until now.
Find a safe place -or safe person-to begin breaking your formal rules for survival. To hang on to rules made by people who may no longer even be alive could be one of your greatest stressors. If it is a "father" or "mother" issue, you may want to talk to their portrait and tell them about your new direction. If they are deceased, you may need to write a letter to them and read it standing on or near their graves to get closure. Start breaking old, ineffective, untrue rules now.
Expose yourself to people who believe in you and have your best interests at heart. These may be people in a social club, in your church, at a book study, or perhaps it is a special neighbor. Ask yourself if Mary is safe for you. If she is, open yourself up to Mary little by little. If not, don't.
Quit taking the blame for all the stuff that's gone on in your life. You are only one actor in a great stage play with many actors in elaborate costumes (which include masks) who speak both provocative and confounding dialog. These thespians have come and gone across the stage during your entire life. You didn't write the play. You're not directing the play. In fact, you didn't even ask to be in the play. So don't assume that you are responsible for the play. The only scene in the production for which you are responsible is you ... and that's how people who lose weight permanently view their presence on the stage of life.
Associate with emotionally healthy people. Many of us did not have towering models of emotional stability in our past. It's okay to admit this, if it pertains to you. Because you now have a choice between ineffective models and effective ones. Identify with emotionally healthy people, observe them, notice how they deal with people, conflict, and ideas. Spend as much time with them as possible. It's a key step people who lose weight permanently take to regain control of their lives.
Work hard at learning relationship skills. Starting today, learn:
- To ask for help
- To tell your secrets
- To express your anger in ways that do not hurt others
- To ask for what you want (Just like you do when you go to the store)
- To share your self with others
- To tell someone when he or she has hurt or disappointed you
Earnest Hemingway once wrote "The world breaks everyone, and afterward many are strong at the broken places." What the slimy caterpillar calls doomsday is what we eventually see as an exquisite butterfly. We all get broken. At some time in our lives each of us slips into the dark cocoon of night, thinking we have little or no hope for a resurrection from our abyss. But when we choose not to give up, and to see our lives clearly, we discover there really can be joy in the morning. What we once felt was ugly suddenly becomes a thing of beauty. Where there was hate and disgust there is now hope, and joy, and the promise of a new tomorrow. This is what you can look forward to as you learn the secrets of the 2% who lose weight permanently.
Affirmations To Help You
RE-NUTURE YOURSELF FOR PERMANENT WEIGHT LOSS
Repeat these several times affirmations daily. Believe in your heart that they are true. Start seeing the "new you" even before your body catches up with your mental image of how you will one day appear. What you are about to do with these affirmations will produce the miracle in your life that you have desired for so long. Trust me. I've seen it happen again and again. . .
- I like who I am and what I am becoming. I know I have been designed to be a loving, beautiful person, and that's what I believe about myself today-regardless of my present weight.
- I believe deep in my heart that my weight has absolutely nothing to do with my ability to love others and reach out to those in need.
- I am a person who no longer judges myself or my many abilities based on my weight.
- I now feel joy, not shame about myself: even as my body is in transition. I am not where I want to be, but I'm also grateful that I'm not where I once was.
- I am now taking control of my weight challenges and no longer see myself as controlled by my family's past or other external circumstances.
- I demonstrate self-respect at all times, even as I show respect for all whom I meet, regardless of their weight, sex or personality type.
- I am learning to relax as I position myself to join the 2% who lose weight permanently. I know that a relaxed muscle responds more quickly than a tight, tense one, and I am excited about this new insight into my life.
- I am daily moving closer to my goal of permanent weight loss. At the same time I am not frustrating myself in the process, because I am only interested in progress, not perfection.
